Don’t suffer the fate of the lobster!

As I walked into my hotel shower last night, I felt a burn from the seemingly boiling water. However, the temp was set the same as the beautiful shower I had earlier that day. Why the different reaction? Earlier in the day, I had increased the heat gradually. Ahhhhh!

This led me to two thoughts:

i) If you put yourself in too much heat too fast, you will burn. However, by gradually increasing the heat (difficulty), you can bare more and more as you become comfortable at each stage.

ii) A lobster who is in a pan of water that gradually increases in heat will be in boiling water before he knows it. And that doesn’t end well for the lobster!

Life is about increasing the heat that you can bare. It is about growth, progression, and development. So what can we do to make sure that we are able to increase the heat that stretches us, without becoming like the lobster that suffers a fate he was blind to?

1) Reflect on where you are right now.
Be constantly curious about your current state and situation. Are you in water that you can handle? Are you learning anything in this water or are you just in a state of ease and comfort? Do you actually want to be in this water?

2) Ask critical questions about your next steps.
If you’re the lobster, you can’t exactly ask anyone else how you can get out the pan, but you’re not a lobster so you have the ability to seek the help of people who can help you out of your current state into an even better one. You can also question yourself. Are you ready to increase the heat? How could you do it? To what level? What support do you need? What can you do to prepare for the extra heat?

3) Embrace the heat.
If you’ve decided that this pan is going to develop you instead of boiling you like a lobster, and you have been strategic in your planning and approach, it’s now time to know that the heat you’re facing / about to face will be great for you. Stagnation equals boredom and a lack of fulfilment. Embrace the heat, increase your threshold, and make the jump between where you are now and where you want to be.

Stop hiding in that cave!

What have you been hiding from recently? You are telling people that you are trying, and you make all the right sounds and movements to let people know you are trying… but really, the conviction and certitude isn’t there.

I’m talking about the salesman who goes through his awesome script time and time again but isn’t getting results. The husband who says all the right things to his wife, but has a terrible relationship with her. The hockey player who runs constantly, but never seems to be open for a pass.

I say that they are ‘hiding’ because they are offering 80% of what they need to do, but are hiding the 20% that actually makes the difference in success.

Consistently when I speak to people about why they are ‘hiding’, they come back with a variation of the same answer: fear.

Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of being told no. Fear of getting on the ball and making a mistake and everyone shouting at them. Fear of (fill in your own personal favourite and one you use frequently).

Stealing from Will Smith’s latest film:

Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But Fear is a choice

Our fear is us panicking over the future; over events that may never actually happen. Hiding is our way of dealing with that.

But, if you are someone who wants results, wants success, wants an amazing relationship, wants to make a difference, then you need to put yourself on the line and deliver with absolute conviction and certitude.

You are going to fail. You are going to fail often. But by playing full out and giving that extra 20%, you are going to succeed to a level that other people dream of.

So I challenge you; come out of the cave that you’re hiding in and put yourself on the line. You have the skills, knowledge and expertise to deliver, so trust yourself and fail a few times!